In Loving Memory of Meline Renee Thomas

"I am leaving you with a gift, peace of mind and heart. And the
peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be
troubled or afraid. Remember what I told you: I am going away, but
I will come back to you again. If you really love me, you will be
very happy for me, because now I can go to the Father, who is
greater than I am. I have told you these things before they happen
so that you will believe when they do happen." (John 14:27-29 NLT)
Dear Meline,
Pray for us that we can do better in the eyes of God. For you are now with him and watching over us. You are already missed, but will always remain remembered in my heart.

Relationship Cycle

So I just got off the phone with my boyfriend E.J. and he's been telling me that he wants to go and get some help of his anger. He has a temper and when he gets agitated he goes off. I have not only witnessed it, but have experienced it 1st hand and I told him that I don't like it. He's like a different person when he acts like that. After just speaking with him, he tells me that he was only planning on seeing someone for one session and doesn't want to dish his money out to

a therapist. What does he think one session will do. "Oh, well I'll get to tell someone my_problems as if that solves everything". NO, its not that simple. "Well, I just know that I need to stay focus and calm and I can do it by myself." NO, if you can do it by yourself than this wouldn't be an issue now.

I'm drawing the conclusion that EJ doesn't have the ability to change. He is who he is and that is it; except him as he is. And as I have already told him. I will not. Our conversation ends with well lets see what happens when I go. Stop, Stop, Stop..... I wish he just admit that he doesn't want help and doesn't think that he's that bad off.

Just stop taking me around circles with the

I want to change,

I want to do better,

I want to improve the way things are

and on

and on

and on

I don't want to leave him and I keep trying to give him the opportunity to figure things out and not rush him, but now I see I'm waiting for something to happen, but that is not going to happen,

until something happens. I'm not going to wait for that. Its so frustrating when you want to help someone and they don't think anything is wrong. What can you do to help them?

1 yr+

Its been raining a lot in Houston. The thing with Houston that is different then NY is that when it rains in NY the temperature tends to drop which makes it cooler. In Houston, on the other hand, that doesn't happen. It seems like it gets hotter when the rain falls here.

One things that has not changed when it rain, is how it can still put me to sleep. The rainy weekends have been pleasant. I just put on the air, which as everyone who lives in Houston already know you need, and try to catch a nap. Just forget about all that is happening outside and be glad that you're not caught in it. I catch some of my best day-time zzzzz's that way. Just love it.

Its real unfortunate that I have been living in Houston for over a year and have not really documented all that I've been through. The weather for one is a huge adjustment by itself, but I've experienced a lot living here. Mostly good experiences and a few bad have occurred during my time here. I've taken what I can from them and have moved on to develop and progress into someone better. I haven't achieve my career goals as of yet, but I must say that I am happy with my life to-date, with my career making its way back on track.

I've met a nice guy. We have been dating for a year in August. The longest relationship for me. Its real cool, even though he is 15 yrs my senior. We are learning a lot about each other and I think a lot about ourselves. I know for sure that I can say, I am. We truly care for one another and he's already stated that he sees himself with me forever. I am not there quite yet, but he does have my heart and with some improvements with our relationship I can see us growing even more closer then we are now. It seems we spend every waken moment together when we are not both at work. It is such a wonderful experience to share your life with someone. He truly has becoming a witness to my life. My documenter if you will.

Its a great feeling.